The one where Mordecai sees Pops' junk mail
by thedatchick
Summary: Oneshot, Mordecai sees something he'd quite like to forget, so Rigby helps take his mind off it.


**"Dude," Mordecai breaths, slipping into the shared bedroom and shutting the door behind him.  
"Huh?" Rigby glances over his shoulder distractedly, as he's busy hanging up a Fist Pump poster to make himself feel a little more comfortable in the plain, boring bedroom. .  
"Dude," He breaths again, leaning over and pulling Rigby down onto his bed by his upper arms.  
"What? Are you okay?" Rigby asks, shifting slightly so he can frantically inspect the visible parts of Mordecai's neck, chest, and shoulders for injuries.  
"no, no. No! Rigby, stop." Mordecai grasps Rigby's fingers and squeezes, forcing the inspection to end. He pushes Rigby's hands back down into the younger boy's lap and holds them there.  
"I saw Pops...naked.." Mordecai admits with his head down. "Ewwwww! You saw..ewww!" Rigby squeals, attempting to jump up flail, but being deterred by Mordecai's strong grip forcing his hands to stay down.  
"Rigs, I need something to get my mind off of it." he says, giving Rigby a very pointed look while cupping his cheek, and a few seconds pass before realization dawns on the younger boy.  
"Oh!" he blushes profusely before reaching out and catiously unbuttoning Mordecai's skinny jeans with nervous fingers. "Um..can we kiss first..?" he asks, blushing even****_ more_****, because here he is clearly about to something explicitly sexual to Mordecai and he had to choose this moment really start sounding like the 15 year old he is.  
"Yeah, c'mere." Mordecai almost laughs, but represses it to a smile, pulling Rigby into his lap and maneuvering him so he's straddling his scrawny thighs. Mordecai sticks his tongue into Rigby's mouth without hesitation like he's a freshman again, making out with cute boys underneath the bleachers on the football field. After a couple minutes of teasing Rigby with his experienced tongue, Mordecai peels his lips away and attaches his mouth to the base of Rigby's neck. He sucks like there's no tomorrow, planning on teasing Rigby about the killer hickey he's bound to have later.  
"Ok! Mordecai, OKAY! OKAY!" Rigby whines slightly and wrenches himself away from Mordecai's mouth and off of the bed, kneeling on the floor between jean clad slender legs.  
Mordecai lays back on the bed and Rigby mentally prepares himself with a few deep breaths before ever-so-slowly reaching his hands into his friend's pants and pulling out the first dick he's ever touched that's not his own.  
"Cool," he breaths quietly, taking a second to appreciate the semi-erection in his hand.  
He closes his eyes before leaning forward and experimentally wrapping his lips around just the head.  
Stupidly, his first thought is, "So, this is what dick tastes like? Not half bad."  
Rigby knows not to deep throat or even try to get close yet because seriously, gagging? Ew. So, he uses his mouth on the first few inches, bobbing his head up and down to meet his pumping fist on the bottom half, just like he's seen in various adult films.  
He keeps at it for a while, until Mordecai is moaning and cursing generously like he knows Rigby needs the confidence boost. Rigby hopes he's not being too generous with the noises though because they really are makiing him feel like a bit of a champ.  
When Mordecai breathily announces that "Rig, Jesus, I'm close, seriously," Rigby doesn't take his mouth off or stop sucking. He sat through a conversation between Eileen and Margaret just a few days earlier where they had told him that "Swallowing is so much better than spitting, no matter what other people say. You barely even have to taste it and there's virtually no clean up!" and how could he possibly forget that "It actually kind of feels good going down your throat, all warm and shit." and Rigby's not even gonna try to question them because they're****_ girls_****,****_ older_**** girls, with e****_xperience_****.  
So, Rigby doesn't removed his mouth when Mordecai thrusts up the last few times and when he finishes with a groan, Rigby dutifully swallows all of it. In the immediate moments after, Rigby is too busy noticing that "oh, hey, the chicks were totally right," to the see the horror on the blue haired teen's face. The gravity he's trying to convey with the facial expression is slightly marred by his flushed cheeks and heavy panting, and Rigby's not even looking at his face, so Mordecai resorts to words. Well, more accurately a single word.  
"Ew." he says shortly. Rigby can feel himself heating up, from his cheeks to the tips of his ears to the back of his neck.  
"What?!" he demands, standing and stretching his stiff legs.  
"You swallowed. You swallowed my ****_jizz_****, dude!" Mordecai announces incredulously while taking another stab at the horrified expression and Rigby rolls his eyes before flopping down dramatically next to him on the bed. For some reason, Rigby realizes that he's also panting like he just ran laps for gym or something. Huh.  
"Shut up." He punches Mordecai weakly and when Mordecai's arm brushes his erection, they're both jolted into remembering that Rigby ****_totally_**** has a dick too. Rigby gives Mordecai his best pathetic and pleading look and of course he can't say no because this kid just blew him and went through the experience of swallowing just for him to have something else to think about.  
"I'm not fuckin swallowing though.." He grumbles as he unbuttons Rigby's pants and expertly starts sucking and working his experienced (but not slutty, thank-you-very-much) mouth. Just as Mordecai is really getting into it, shoving one hand in Rigby's shirt and gripping his thigh with another, making these really wet and loud sounds, causing the younger to writhe and moan, the door creaks open, revealing Pops nervously twirling his eccentric hat between his fingers.  
"Oh, Mordecai, I'm so very sorry about earlier-" he stops short and his eyes widen once he registers what he's walked in on.  
"Oh!" he says loudly in a pinched voice before slamming their door shut and sprinting down the hall away from them. He sounds like a herd of elephants.  
"Jesus," Rigby groans, letting his head fall back onto the mattress. "Please don't tell me this means I have to blows Pops now..."**

THE END


End file.
